The 3AM Wake-Up Call Nobody Asked For (and how to get back to sleep)

Last night I slept terribly. I'm usually a head-hits-the-pillow-and-zonk kind of girlie, but these last few weeks have been hit and miss, to put it politely. I practice what I preach — sleep mask, magnesium before bed, no scrolling after 7pmish, no replying to messages after that either (if you get a reply from me after that time, you are very special to me). But I'm a human. Sometimes the things that bothered me during the day come and poke me in the brain at 3am. It's like an internal small child peeling your eyelids open because she wants to check you're awake so she can tell you something. Sometimes I can sweetly tell her to go back to sleep, and I'll talk to her in the morning. Sometimes, she's crying. Wrestling her back to sleep is a non-starter. (Mums with actual small children, I see you. Those nights are usually preceded by days that already felt like too much. The to-do list, the emotions, the noise. It hurts too much to think, let alone keep moving forward.)

On those days, I'm thankful I can move through the pain. Grateful to go outside, breathe a lungful (or twenty) of fresh air, see the colours of the trees, the grass, the sky (currently grey, but that's still a colour, right?). I can reset myself. It feels less scary to engage with my feelings and let them work themselves through. At night, though, that's a different story. That small child inside you wakes you up, suddenly gripped by something you forgot or a memory that aches, and bam, you're wide awake, fighting nothing but your own brain. I've been practising my mental sword-fighting during the day, for exactly this moment. So here's your secret weapon: when I find myself awake, I remind myself of something simple but powerful. Breathe.

Why Breath Is Magic

I can hear you laughing. I can hear you saying, "There is no way that breathing is going to stop me worrying about the hundred things I didn't get done today that I now need to do tomorrow." I promise you, your breath is magic.

Deliberately bringing your attention to your breath stops you living in yesterday's disappointments and tomorrow's demands. Your brain is trying to protect you by letting you plan your way to safety. We need to remind it that those cycles of thought are just patterns, not helpful right now — and that it (or your inner little you, if you want to picture it that way) can rest. I gently tell mine I'll talk to her properly in the morning, all through our dog walk. And then I breathe.

Breathwork is one of the most powerful nervous system regulation tools there is, a simple, free way to settle anxiety, available 24/7. My favourite pattern is counting each breath up to five, then starting again: in, 1, out, 2, in, 3, out, 4, in, 5, out, 1. It usually doesn't take more than three rounds to be asleep again.

Forgotten Laundry, Hidden Tiger

Letting your body simply concentrate on your breath proves to it that you're safe. Our minds can be dramatic storytellers in the dark, turning laundry into tigers, and memories into daggers. You are not being attacked by the pile of washing that morphed into a tiger. You are not being chased by a report you may or may not have forgotten to send. And you are not literally being stabbed by the grief that struck you like a thunderbolt. Using your breath to meet your anxiety will make you feel like the superhero you are.

You don't have to change your breathing pattern; that's not the goal. You don't have to beat yourself up if you lose count; just start again, it doesn't matter. Your body will start to understand that it's safe. The tiger will disappear. The tidal wave will wash right over you. And the stabbing pain in your heart will fade to an ache soft enough that you remember you ache because you loved, and that is wonderful.

I don't usually add a mantra, I find the breath is enough, but if you'd like one, here it is, repeat after each breath:

*I am here. I am strong.*

Breath as Your Secret Weapon in the Gym

Your breath isn't just for sleep and stress it's also your secret weapon in the gym. Controlled breathing stabilises your body, protects your core, and helps you push through heavy lifts without burning out. If you can focus on and control your breathing through your workout, you will be unstoppable. You can use the 1-5 technique between sets too. Let me know what you PB when you try it.

Practice Before You Need It

Just like stop, drop, and roll we practice so we know what to do before the emergency happens. You only need two minutes a day. Walking, hanging the washing out, drying dishes, cooking — any of it works as daily breathwork training. 1-5, in, out, in, out. That way, your body feels safe while you already feel safe, and it becomes second nature exactly when you need it. Think of it like warming up. You don't go for your max deadlift on rep one — you build up. Your breath is no different.

If you try the 1-5 breath pattern tonight, let me know how it goes. Share your wins with me whether it's finally falling asleep, hitting a new PB, or just feeling calmer in the middle of chaos. You are here. You are strong. You are powerful.