From Fairy Elephant to Handstands: Why Flexibility in Body and Mind is True Strength

Fairy Elephant in Ballet Shoes

Like many of us girlies, I did Ballet as a kid. I wanted to be that prima ballerina, that pretty girl up on stage dancing like an angel, floating on air, at one with the music. I loved the tutus, the pink and the “so tight they make your eyes” water buns.

Record scratch. I did ballet as a kid. I was not good at it. I was enthusiastic but grace was never my friend. My mum used to call me a fairy elephant and while all of the other girls had their hair preened into beautiful buns with beaded nets to keep their precious cargo safe, my hair is THICK and heavy. So, for ease, I had the “is she a boy or a girl” page boy cut (think Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber).  

As I say, I was enthusiastic and I loved dancing, I still do.  I would show up every week and give it everything I had.  I danced until I was about 8 in classes, then life happened, and I danced in the shows that I would choreograph with my friends for my family at home. Then in school shows and eventually just around the kitchen. When do we forget to stop being kids?

Everyone assumes, because of my childhood ballet and dance background that I am naturally flexible. Yes, my feet turn out into what some consider an unnatural angle (3rd position, iykyk, duck feet if you don't) and my elbows do a weird woohoo thing (the only part of me that is hypermobile), the rest of me, if I stiff as a board. I, like most, worked at a desk for hours and then went home and sat for hours more.

Learning to Laugh at Failure

When I started to do yoga I didn’t do it for the wellness or the flexibility, I did it because it felt like dancing. And I was not good at that either. If you haven’t realised yet, I am stubborn. I saw my weaknesses and charged full steam ahead to get better. I didn’t start with aspirations of greatness, but I did have an errant dream of being able to do the splits. It looked cool and I had never given it much time as a child, so I hadn’t got there.

That dream faded as I started to go to the gym. The yoga dancing stopped as compound weight lifting became my thing; yoga was a once a week at home activity I did in private when I didn’t have time to go and train at the gym.  It became less than a secondary thought.

Flexibility in Body and Mind

Then the world tilted again. As it does. And I found myself in a new location, 2 minutes away from a yoga studio, with a new gym coach who specialised in gymnastics and a hunger to be a different person. Do you get the feeling that the Universe was trying to tell me something, or is that just me?

I did not get the sudden desire to go to yoga every day. In fact, when I first started, I hated it. The heat was great but it was so hard and I would fall over so much. I was in a dark headspace so laughing at myself was not available to me, but beating myself up about how much I sucked was! 

Give up...I'm sorry Sir, I don't speak looser

My gym coach, tasked with making my squat better, one day offered up the chance to learn how to handstand and I ran with it. I WAS TERRIBLE!!! How he didn’t fire me as a client still amazes me. (He is still my coach now and one of the best humans I know) With his endless patience, we got there. Coming from ballet and compound movements I was well versed in moving stiffly. The yoga was helping me to relax my body more but transferring this to handstands and other gymnastic movements, a nightmare. I would frustrate myself so much at not being able to move dynamically. This sounds like a cautionary tale, one that should end with… and then I gave up.

It doesn’t (no surprise there!!!) The more I was trying new things (even though I was rubbish at them), the more I wanted to try new things. Little by little, I started to loosen up. To breathe. To stop being so stiff.

What I Achieved Anyway

Not just in my body — in my thinking.

My spark to live my splits dream came back. For full disclosure I was closer to 40 than I was to 38 by this point. In most people’s opinion, I had no business trying to learn to handstand, do muscle ups, do the SPLITS! But we don’t listen to other people’s opinions in this house. So, I did it anyway.

Here’s what stubborn flexibility gave me::

• Middle splits achieved
• Front split is nearly there
• Full pancake achieved
• Gymnastics
• 50 second free standing handstand (consistently)
• Strict ring muscle ups
• Glide kip bar muscle ups
• Handstand press ups
• Straddle back lever
• Advanced tuck Planche

90degree handstand hold for 20 seconds (consistently)

This is aside from strength achievements.

What I Want You to Take Away

These aren’t just skills — they’re proof that being flexible in your mind is the real game-changer. What do I want you to take away from this? The notion that you can do ANYTHING you want.

Whatever your strange, wacky, wonderful dream is — go for it.

Flexibility isn’t just for bodies.

Flexibility in your mind, paired with the strength to keep going when you fail, is what makes life worthwhile.

That combination? That’s the dream. And it’s yours if you choose it. Ready to start? Download Strong Girl Starter Kit and lets kick this party up a gear