Fitness - heard of it, where the hell do I start?

Fitness - heard of it, where the hell do I start?

Cortisol, creatine, cardio, strength training, fasting, protein, calorie counting — AGGGHHHHHH!

I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with clients and friends who want to change their bodies in some way but feel so overwhelmed by all the (usually well-meaning) advice floating around (hello, social media).

It’s enough to make you want to kick Harry Potter out from under the stairs and barricade yourself inside with a lifetime supply of chocolate frogs.

So what happens?
You do nothing.
You stay stuck in that swirling shame pit of “I should be doing this,” but somehow feel more frozen than ever.

💜 I get it.

I’m obsessed with learning all things human. It’s my favourite way to geek out — right next to Disney and Jiu-Jitsu, obviously.

I’ve devoured books, podcasts, courses, and learned from incredible teachers in anatomy, biomechanics, healing modalities, neuroscience, and longevity.
I don’t claim to know everything (and I can point you to those who know more if you would like to join my learning crew!), but I know enough to make it work for me — and I’m curious enough to keep learning and evolving as I go.

When it comes to getting started, I have one big guiding principle:

✨ Keep it simple.

🧺 The Washing Machine of Fitness

For some reason, this clicked for me while standing in front of my washing machine (stay with me).

I don’t know how my washing machine motor works. I have no idea how it spins the drum, how the buttons talk to each other, or how it magically knows when to add the fabric softener.

(Side note: if you wash any sports gear, skip the fabric softener and use white vinegar. It cleans out the “pores” in the fabric and stops that weird damp smell. You’re welcome.)

What I do know:
If I put clothes in, don’t overload it (guilty), add something that smells nice, press “go,” and hang them out after — they come out clean.
Could a different cycle make them even cleaner? Maybe. But they look good, smell good, and I get them on the line before I dash off to teach.

That, to me, is winning.

Step 1: Collect your clothes

AKA: Figure out your starting point.

Calculate your daily Basal Metabolic Rate. Calculate your daily Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) — the calories you need to stay alive. Then throw that number away and instead look at the calories you'd need for a sedentary life(see pic), I like this calculator (not sponsored, it is just simple and accurate).

So many people start with extreme calorie cuts that don’t even cover the energy you need to get out of bed, never mind live your life OR add in the magical movement that makes life fun.

What happens then? You end up crying because the printer ran out of paper at work, or you find yourself trying to open your front door with your car key and rocking in the foetal position at the bottom of the stairs at the end of the night because getting up to bed feels like climbing Mount Everest.

Even worse, sometimes you gain weight — despite eating basically nothing. WHY?

Because your body is super intelligent. It knows how to keep you alive, in your current body form. It does not understand that you want to change your shape. And quite frankly, when you scare it like this, it doesn't care.  If you starve it, it clings to every morsel of metabolic energy (read stored fat) for dear life, like a chipmunk stockpiling for winter.

We need to gently show your body that it can survive (and thrive!) on fewer calories — slowly, and with the right support...introducing Professor Protein!
(That’s a Professor Proton joke for my Big Bang Theory fans — and yes, it’s scientifically funnier when you explain the joke. Fact.) But really, I do mean the ever so magnificent, Protein. 

Step 2: Pick your detergent

AKA: Protein.

What protein do you actually enjoy eating? (Yes, this is bold and underlined.) Just like your washing detergent, if you don't like the smell of it, you won't use it. Pick proteins that you like the smell and taste of and you will manage to fit them into your diet.

Your main protein sources:

  • Meat and fish

  • Eggs

  • Dairy

  • Legumes and tofu (for my plant-based and veggie crew)

  • Nuts and seeds (more calorie-dense, so think of these as tiny delicious protein treats)

Pro tip: Learning to read nutrition labels will help you exponentially in this quest. I know, it’s another thing to do — but fear not! I have a guide for that here. The tldr is, less is more. The less ingredients, fewer calories, more of the good stuff we are looking for. 

The amount of detergent you need to get the clothes clean is determined by how much washing you put in the machine. How much protein you need depends on the gravitational measurement of your beautiful humanness (aka, your weight in kilos). Take the number of kilos of your gravitational presence and have 2 grams of protein for every kilo of joy you bring to the world. 
(Example: if you weigh 70 kg, you’re aiming for around 140 g of protein per day.)

When you nail this in line with your overall calorie goal that you calculated in step 1, you’ll feel and function like an absolute superhero.

Step 3: Pick your wash cycle

AKA: Activity.

How much time do you have today?

The "cycle" you choose depends on the amount of time you have available, that is your exercise time. 

The “putting the washing out” part is your stretching, mobility, and recovery. It matters!

If you have 30 minutes, do 20 minutes of activity and save 10 minutes for active recovery. You can do a lot in 20 minutes.

“But what should I choose?!” I hear you yelling from inside the laundry basket.

Think about your washing loads: lights or darks? It’s that simple. Pick what feels good today and just get started.

✨ Like training with people? Find a class.
✨ Like lifting heavy things? Go for it.
✨ Like dancing around your living room? Turn up 'The Greatest Showman' Soundtrack and get moving.
✨ Like running? Lace up and fly.

Don’t overthink it. Just start. Need some extra ways to get moving, check this out.

This is only about getting started. The rest will unfold over time.

Step 4: Do I need fancy extras?

AKA: Supplements.

Answer: Nope.

The only universal “supplement” I recommend (especially in the UK) is vitamin D.

If you’re eating good-quality protein, plenty of fruit (yes, fruit!), and veggies, you’re good.

Whey protein powders can help if you struggle to hit your daily protein goal — but I treat those as food, not supplements.

Bonus tip: Morning magic (not a supplement)

Stimulate your natural cortisol in the morning to help your body wake up properly and allow your energy to naturally taper off in the evening.

How?
☀️ Get sunlight into your eyes (without sunglasses) for at least 10 minutes first thing.

Do this for a month and let me know how you feel.

💜 The Bottom Line

Start simple.
Start with what you actually enjoy.
Focus on what feels good and gets you moving.

Because trust me — just like slipping on fresh, clean clothes — you’ll feel incredible when you do.

⚡️ Want a quick first mission?

✅ Pick one protein-rich food you love.
✅ Decide on one movement you enjoy today (anything counts!).
✅ Step outside for your morning sunlight.

That’s it. You’ve already started.

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